Gill Sims’ blog about the trials and tribulations endured with her Precious Moppets, Gadget Twat husband and the ever loyal Judgy Dog are genuinely Laugh Out Loud funny.
Now it’s time to find out Why Mummy Swears…What is this?If you haven’t yet discovered the guffaw-inducing delight that is Peter and Jane and Mummy Too then you may want to start there. But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she’s also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn’t have to run out when the nanny calls in sick.Ĭan Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing ‘comfy trousers’ to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T?Ĭhildren: mostly adorable or frequently irritating?I’m sure most parents would admit to finding their own Precious Moppets (never mind anyone else’s) a Bit Much sometimes, so I’m sure most of us can understand Why Mummy Drinks.
Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always. Mummy’s marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips… How many more days of the holiday are there? Where I had envisaged childish faces glowing with wonder as they took in the treasures of our nation’s illustrious past, we instead had me shouting ‘Don’t touch, DON’T TOUCH, FFS DON’T TOUCH!” while stoutly shod pensioners tutted disapprovingly and drafted angry letters to the Daily Mail in their heads.
As soon as we got there I remembered why I don’t use the flipping National Trust membership – because National Trust properties are full of very precious and breakable items, and very precious and breakable items don’t really mix with children, especially not small boys. I brightly announced that perhaps it might be a lovely idea to go to a stately home and learn about some history. The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.
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